dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize