Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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