Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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