All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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