I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
