i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Randomize
