I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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