I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
