Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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