If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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