You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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