So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
