I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
