Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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