I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
