i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
