Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
