Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize