honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
