You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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