Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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