I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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