You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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