did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
