Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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(301): View more from Maryland

Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.

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(310): View more from California

you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.

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(559): View more from California

So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

(1-559): View more from California

That depends on who this is.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together

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(678): View more from Georgia

I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy

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(979): View more from Texas

She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.

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(408): View more from California

I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients

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