And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's get the cat blown out
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
