whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
