I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
