he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
