we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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