If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize