i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
