I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
