I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
