What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
