apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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