Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
