You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
