ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
