People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
