TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
