I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
