Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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