So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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