I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
