You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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