I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
