i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
