he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize