I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
