No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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