he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
