my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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