I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
