I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
