please come you make the beer taste better
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Randomize
