If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
