ugly people sure do ruin things
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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