I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
