I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Randomize
