shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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