I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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